 | by Lacey Savage
Is it just me, or have things been rather dull in celebrity land lately? Am I the only one missing the crazy antics of TomKat? And just where is Michael Jackson when you really need him? At this point, I'd even take Bjork! Ah, well... With any luck, Tom will be jumping up and down on other people's couches any day now, and Michael will be showing off a new nose job. Until then, let's see what kind of dirt I can dig up to keep you entertained... |
While most celebrities are pretty adamant about proclaiming their sexual orientation, no matter which way they swing, Stephen Dorff seems surprised by his. "Since I was a young boy, I always loved watching ladies get ready," he told an interviewer. "I figure I would have been gay or asexual, if I didn't want women the way I do." That is sort of the point, isn't it? If you're not straight, well, you're bound to be something else. Stephen hits the nail on the head with the brilliance of his statement. No wonder women throw themselves at him everywhere he goes. Who wouldn't want those genius genes in their offspring? Wait, apparently the lack of heirs surprises Stephen, too. "I'm amazed that I haven't had a baby yet after years of being drunk and wild in nightclubs at 4am," he confessed to Observer Woman magazine. So are we, Stephen. So are we...
And speaking of brains and showing them off, Jessica Simpson recently told Maxim magazine why she keeps her eyes open when she kisses. "I love to kiss with my eyes open," she says, "because I can take in the entire situation and know if I'm enjoying it or not." I mean, really, the woman has a point. If you can't see it, how can you possibly tell whether a kiss is any good? While she's at it, she also offers dieting advice. "I didn't drink for, like, three months or something," she says. "We worked out all the time." Eating, on the other hand, seems to be okay...
Who knew Namibia would become the hottest celebrity hang out? Or at least, the hottest celebrity birthing spot. After Angelina Jolie recently delivered baby Shiloh there, Britney Spears told Matt Lauer in an interview that Namibia is also her chosen place for giving birth to her daughter, who is due in September. When asked why she chose Namibia, she responded by saying, " "Kevin has always been a fan of African-American culture," she replied. "I'm sure he'll feel at home there, rapping with all the natives. Besides, there's lots of quiet unpaved roads where Sean Preston and I can go driving." For once, I don't even need a punch line...
Kate Moss's waif thin supermodel look may be hailed as "heroin chic", but it looks as though she won't be charged over allegations of cocaine use. You may remember the pictures that surfaced last September, showing Kate using illegal drugs while her boyfriend (now "ex"), musician Pete Doherty, was recording an album. Kate lost modeling contracts with H&M, Burberry and Chanel after the photos hit the newsstands, but prosecutors now say the evidence isn't strong enough to charge her with illegal drug use. Really? What, they can't get DNA evidence off a picture? That seems to be the consensus, after almost a year's worth of trying...
Celebrities often stand up for the causes they believe in. Sometimes it's just a ploy to get more attention, but often their efforts are genuine. They raise money and awareness for such worthy causes as the fight against AIDS, finding a cure for cancer, ending poverty, etc. Daryl Hannah's cause? The forcible eviction of squatting farmers. Yes, folks, Ms. Hannah spent three weeks sitting 40 feet above the ground in a large walnut tree. The result? Not only did she not succeed in allowing the immigrant farmers to remain on the land, but she managed to land somewhere herself... in jail, to be exact. But wait, this issue really is more important than it sounds. Why else would Leonardo DiCaprio and Willie Nelson also stop by to show their support? Unless, of course, they stopped to point and laugh, which sounds like a much more likely scenario...
That's all the news fit to print for this month. Check back for more celebrity gossip in the next issue of A Cheeky Changeling!