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by Mary Winter
When it comes to sacred sexuality it's easy to talk about well…sex. Most people think of Tantra as something sexual. The Kama Sutra, originally intended to be a religious text, has been primarily referred to as a book of positions and is sold in many guises, several of which are far removed from the sacred beginnings of the writings. Many pagan festivals center on fertility, and some use them as excuses to party and indulge in sensual pleasures. So it's easy to see where sacred sexuality has a tendency to center on the actual act of intercourse. |
So let's take a step back and look at the first part of that, sacred. Merriam-Webster's online dictionary describes the word sacred as highly valued and important. A synonym "inviolable" makes the distinction even clearer: secure from violation or profanation. That's a pretty important distinction. By moving the focus of sacred sexuality away from the sacred and onto the sex, there's a good chance that the attention gets paid to the act itself, not the reasons for it.
So how do you put the sacred back into sacred sexuality?
It's not about a particular religion or spiritual path. After all, the definition "highly valued and important" doesn't define a particular belief system. It's all about what is important to you. Of course, for some people, having sex might be what's important. Especially if it seems you're not getting any. But let's look deeper. What's important about the actual act of having sex?
As a writer, when my characters make love (or not), says a lot about them and where they are in the story. It's that closeness, or the developing closeness between them that's important to the story. The physical release is simply icing on the cake of their relationship. The same holds true in real life. Building an intimacy with our partner, deepening the relationship, those are expressed through our sexual activities with that person. Being emotionally close to that person has the capacity to make the sex all the sweeter.
To start, take a few moments to think about your recent sexual activity, even if it's only with yourself. What's important about it? What do you strive to do? Is it just a release? Is it something more? Is it for a specific purpose such as procreation? Know what your plans are so that you can act with purpose.
This month, think about this. Having a "purpose" doesn't ruin the spontaneity of the moment. And your thoughts don't need to intrude on what happens. Simply be aware. Next month, we'll learn what to do with that awareness.
Bio
Mary Winter prides herself on being a new age girl (just like the song