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by Mary Winter
Last month we talked about having a purpose, and using that purpose to put the sacred back into our act of sacred sexuality. But simply having a purpose for it isn't enough. We need to be aware of the purpose. It sounds simple, but it can be complicated. The first question is: how do we determine our purpose? That's a pretty broad question. Narrowing it down to sexuality still takes some work. After all, what's the "purpose" of sex? Frankly, it can be a lot of things. Some couples wish to try to procreate. Others just want to have fun. Celebratory sex fits in here too, as does sex done during a ritual. Frankly, ask a dozen people and you'll have thirteen, or more, reasons (purposes) for having sex. |
Now, I'm not saying that before you can engage in any intimate activity you have to stop and think, "this is for X" or "my purpose here is Y." Truth is, most of the time, you'll be so caught up in the moment there won't be able to have a purpose ahead of time. And that's okay. In fact, when it comes to sex, spontaneous is often better. So why should you determine a purpose?
Because it's that awareness that puts the sacred back into sacred sexuality.
The good news is that awareness is cultivated as much outside the bedroom (or the living room, the laundry room, the dining room table…) as inside it. Using the belief that like draws like (such as a rose or pink candle for drawing love), sympathetic magic can form one of the most basic forms of ritual. And while, in its most elemental form it means that yes, sex will attract more sex, it means more than that. If we pay attention to the events in our lives, we can start to see the patterns. Acknowledging these patterns is the first step to cultivating awareness.
The next step is to see the sexual act as more than physical release. Sure, it's that, and quite a good one, too, most times. But, really, the sexual act is a union of opposites, of the yin and yang, the elements, the tides. Knowing this brings us a step closer to awareness. Then, the next time he caresses your skin, or kisses you, think about that union, about the way his hard muscles contrast with your soft curves. Think about the God planting his seed in the fertile Goddess of Mother Earth. Even afterwards, basking in the warm glow, think about the energy and potential surrounding you.
Be aware, and be thankful. And then, you'll have put the sacred back into sacred sexuality.
Bio
Mary Winter prides herself on being a new age girl (just like the song