Cooking for the Kitchen Illiterate
by Jade Buchanan

This month, I implored my fellow Changeling authors to give me some goodies! I received quite a few fabulous recipes (thanks everyone!!), but I had to choose two that had my mouth watering just from the titles.

The fabulous Lena Austin sent me a recipe for Pecan Pie! And Dawn Montgomery sent me a recipe for Berry Parfait! Two desserts for the price of one!!

I was tempted just to hold the recipes in my little hands and stare at them in wonder. Actual recipes to tempt me with! I must admit the first part of each title had me nervous, though. Impossible Pecan Pie? How impossible? Would I accidentally set fire to my place? Did this involve miscellaneous ingredients I wouldn't be able to pronounce? Macerated Berry Parfait? What exactly did that mean?

This would be my challenge! A path for me to… well, okay, I just wanted to eat Pecan Pie and Berry Parfait. There's nothing wrong with that. Really.

On to the recipes!

Impossible Pecan Pie

1 1/2 cups chopped pecans
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
3/4 cup milk
3/4 cup dark corn syrup
1/2 cup Bisquick baking mix
1/4 cup margarine or butter, softened
4 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees
2. Grease pie plate, 10 x 1 ˝ inches. Sprinkle pecans in plate. (I can do this part with my eyes closed. Hah! I feel all smug in my cooking abilities.)
3. Beat remaining ingredients until smooth. 15 seconds in blender on high or 1 minute with hand beater. (Okay, so I must admit that I don't own a blender. Or a hand beater. I know, I feel shame. After a quick phone call to my mother, and a ten minute conversation where she expressed her disbelief that I don't own a blender, I was able to borrow a blender for this all-important step. FYI: I'm apparently getting a blender for Christmas.)
4. Pour blended ingredients into plate. (I almost panicked at this point thinking I'd ruined everything. No one told me the pecans would rise from the bottom and hover on the top of the ingredients. No, the Bachelor of Science degree I have hanging in my office was not given out by accident. I swear. Tempted to phone Lena in an emergency, I held myself back only because I didn't want her to think I was the world's biggest idiot. I decided to play a wait and see game and just crossed my fingers.)
5. Bake until knife inserted in center comes out clean, 50 to 55 minutes. Cool 5 minutes. (In my brilliance I decided 50 minutes was just enough time to go finish up my latest work in progress. Don't distract yourself at this point. Actually, just buy a timer. I think I'd need a degree in engineering to figure out how the one on my oven works.) Of course, if you don't want to test your waistline with Pecan Pie, you can always try low-fat (yes, it is!) Berry Parfait. This was provided by Dawn's husband, who is a much better cook than I am (Okay, everyone is a better cook than I am).

His recipe can be found here: http://www.cookingbytheseatofmypants.com/2007/07/31/mascerated-berry-parfait/ Not feeling any pressure at all to reproduce his version *bites fingernails*, I set about creating my own Berry Parfait.

Macerated Berry Parfait

1 bowl (approx. 1 1/2 cup, or 1/3 package) frozen mixed berries
1 tsp sugar
1/2 cup white wine (or alcoholic or non-alcoholic substitute)
Whipped topping or whipped cream (nonfat or sinful version, whatever you prefer)

1. Place frozen berries, sugar and wine in bowl at room temperature until thawed, (approximately 20 minutes), gently folding the mixture occasionally. (Feel free to sample the wine at this point. Not too much, though, or you won't be able to finish the recipe off.)
2. Add 1/3 of the mixture to bottom of wine glass or sundae dish. Place a thin layer of whipped topping over berries and repeat process until all but one of each type of berries are used. (Use a big wine glass! Trust me, it looks fantastic in a wine glass!)
3. To finish, place a small amount of whipped topping over entire dish and garnish with remaining berries.

Dawn's husband has recommended a couple options instead of white wine. Using orange juice mixed with a bit of lemon juice and just a dash of honey would be a great non-alcoholic version. Or try using brandy or cognac if you want something stronger.

For myself, I tried Single Malt Scotch Whisky. An ounce of nice, smooth 15 year Dalwhinnie. It's considered almost like a dessert Scotch, so I figured it was just right. I leave my Dalwhinnie in the freezer, and normally drink it from a chilled glass (try it if you have a bottle at home) so it went perfectly with my berries. I used both raspberries and strawberries and topped it with the most sinful whipped cream I could find. Heck, I'd already had the Pecan Pie anyway…

Lena and Dawn both came through with winners for me! And I feel just a little bit surer of my cooking abilities.

So, there you have it. Two nice and simple recipes that even I can make. And if a not-so-great chef can perfect dishes like these, you'll have no problems :

Happy reading, and safe cooking!

Jade

P.S. Do you want to get in on the action and test Jade's cooking skills personally? Send her a recipe at jade.buchanan@yahoo.com. before December 15th and the winning recipe will be cooked up and featured in the December issue of A Cheeky Changeling. The winner will receive a Changeling ebook of their choice!!