Friday Night Lament: Fuzzball 27 The Search for a Nanny Continues... by Fuzzball Well, kits and kittens - The Fuzz impressed the last nanny candidate with his command of the art of haiku. It's too bad that she didn't appreciate the token of esteem which Papa and Razzi and I presented to her. Who knew that a woman could scream so loud about dead crickets? We left the best parts for her - they were only missing a few legs and stuff... Mom has continued to interview aspirants for the position, and I have to tell you --- I am concerned. She really seems to be leaning toward a 'manny'... She's read far too many Changeling Books and is just too 'enlightened' for my taste! And speaking of taste - let me share with you my observations and reservations about this manny and the Christmas Dinner Fiasco...

Somehow he finagled himself an invitation for Christmas Dinner… wanted to "observe the family interactions". INTERACTIONS MY FUZZY HEINIE! The only interacting 'round here is me enthroned in Mom's lap, being fed select morsels of freshly baked turkey and dressing, with a side of fire-roasted spiral-sliced ham!

But noooooooo! Mr. Manny Nanny volunteered to bring the entrée. And with all the turkeys and hams in the world, does he pick a succulent and tender oven-roasted selection? That would be "no!" He brings a Prime Rib Roast - exceedingly rare. We're talking "moo moo not dead yet rare". Says he "doesn't like veggies or fowl, but couldn't find a fresh deer". Um, hello MOM? Bambi Killer here! He's totally ruined the traditional meal of adoration that Fuzzball is used to. And he could have shaved like a proper dinner guest. We are talking 5 o'clock shadow at 2:00 in the afternoon! A little manly man body scent would be nice as well. Every time he walks by I smell wet dog!?!

As he sliced into his bloody rare roast he kept glancing over at me, kits and kittens. Talked about how much he "loved kitties". Kept licking his lips when he'd say that...

Then, just before sunset, he jumped up and said he had to get home before the moon rose for the evening.

Mom won't listen, so Papa and Razzi and I are devising a plan … we've ordered a Taser from E-bay and asked Santa for silver collars. Yep, you guessed it. Me thinks that this Manny Nanny is a werewolf...