by Celia Kyle Celia Does Manhattan Okay, admittedly, I haven't "done" anything. Mr. Kyle would undoubtedly be upset to find out that his wife has "done" Manhattan ala Debbie Does Dallas. To which I say: Yeah, those vows meant something to me, too. Darnit.

But, what are we housewives and shiny smut* writers to do for more fantasy fodder nowadays? Of course, there are numerous websites which offer a plentitude of pleasure-giving options, but what if we want something real. Now, I'm not talking about the videos which claim to be done by amateurs which are blatantly... not. No, I'm talking the real deal folks.

My job as unofficial official review chick is to hunt down that which will curl our toes and blow off our socks. Then, after having my toes curled and socks blown *ahem* I'll come back to tell ya'll all about my adventures.

First stop: Manhattan.

Now, having never visited Manhattan, I can't validate this blogger's claims. I know, the first thing an investigative reporter should do is validate my sources. Alas, the other witnesses supporting this man's claims is so vast that I can't help but take him, his words and purported deeds as the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

This man, this never-ending fucking machine who holds orgies and rocks the worlds of both women and men, is the topic of this month's View & Review.

Jefferson.

Say it with me, imagine screaming his name in ecstasy or pain, but damn you'd scream it... Jefferson.

Now, without going in to oodles of details which revolve around stuff other than sex and more about day to day life, let me just say that a major life change resulted in the birth of his blog.

One Life, Take Two can be found at www.onelifetaketwo.blogspot.com.

Now, on to the goodies. At first this was going to be an Ode to Jefferson bit of column with me spouting poetically about how much I love his blog. Instead, I've chosen to list the reasons I love his blog. Hah! I'm going intellectual on you, watch out!

1. The sexin'. Jefferson, unlike some most men, likes men. He likes men and women. Not only does he like men and women, he talks about, describes and shouts of his love of both sexes. He is not a man to mince words over his love of cake, cock and... pussy. (Cunt just didn't seem appropriate, regardless of the alliteration.)

2. The writing. Ooh! Write to me, baby! He often writes of details which many men overlook. While I don't know his profession, I believe it involves writing of some sort and it shows in the words he puts to screen. Excessive adjectives are shot down and edited out before the words ever leave his hard drive, leaving readers with an accurate and arousing story of his life. In short, if you're going to have an intimate encounter with a random man and have him write about it, Jefferson is your guy. He writes damned well about the damned sex. Damnit.

3. The web he weaves is intricate and vast. Okay, maybe not vast vast, but vast enough. Linked to his blog are many other blogs which *ta da!* feature him. Maybe not as a staring role, but the man does often play a role in the sex lives of others. From single ladies to married men, he's got them all online and telling of their encounters. I mean, if you were having the kind of sex he talks about, wouldn't you want to start a blog and tell people about it? Yeah, I thought so.

4. It's not all about sex. I know, you're screaming "What? That's what we're here for!" Believe me, take a little of the real life and absorb some of what occurs and you'll be glad for the occasional cute story of Lilly. Hearing about Jefferson's four children (and the evil ex), engage your heart (that beating thing, two feet above your fun bits) and make his entries all the more real. Realism has its place, folks, especially in erotica.

So, between the sex (with boys AND girls), the writing, the web and his real life, this man's blog packs a punch which is sure to trip just about anyone's trigger. Of course, it would help if you enjoy reading about orgies and taking a boy's anal cherry and housewives who drive down from Canada for a roll in sack. Just sayin'.

*Oh! And for those of you scratching your heads about what a "shiny smut" writer is. Why, it's me, of course. I give you all the smut you could ever desire with a happy ending. And, don't happy endings make you happy? Just like shiny things make me happy. Hence, shiny smut writer. See ya'll next month! Mwah!

Celia Kyle