by Celia Kyle Celia Does You! Unfortunately, much like last month's column, I am not really doing "you". I know, I know, I'm a great big cock tease. Sue me. Wait! Don't sue me. I'm a starving artist after all. Wouldn't want to take food from the mouth of my non-existent babes and all that, right? See, I knew ya'll were a good sort.

Now, let's get back to me doing you. As much as it pains me to admit, this column is not about me offering myself to the masses. What it is about is other people offering themselves to the masses, visually anyway. Oooh! I've piqued your interest now, haven't I? Good, that's my job.

May I introduce to you lovely ladies and gents... You Porn! www.youporn.com. The site is the YouTube of porn. Your pink bits are just tingling now, aren't they? Not yet? Give it a few.

YouPorn, truly the pornographic version of YouTube, is a lovely site filled with lovely people taking their clothes off and sexin' it up. All for you. From standard male/female sex to raunchy gay orgies, you'll find it all. While I love that I can get my porn fix and inspiration all in one place, I do admit that it is sometimes difficult to find things.

Noisy women orgasming, for example. (Sorry a woman enjoying herself does more than a man making everything messy.)

Now, this isn't a disparaging remark about the lack of noisy noisy women orgasming, but in fact it is a complaint against the search function on the site. Though, in all honesty, I haven't ever uploaded a video and perhaps the issue is the keywords the users put in place when uploading videos that is the culprit.

Got a video? Uploading it to YouPorn and need help with keywords? Call Celia at...

What? Like you wouldn't want to sample the vids before they go live.

The standard "over eighteen" warning appears on the home page, giving you the option to enter or leave. (As if leaving were an option.) Once brought to the "after entry" page, you'll see the most recent uploaded videos. If you become an avid cruiser, this page can be a godsend. The newest porn up front and ready for you! There are even little thumbnails showing snippets of the hotness each video holds.

Of course, like any porn site, free or otherwise, there are ads aplenty. Typically I avoid them. Why? Well, why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? Yeah, thought so.

Are you an author looking to "research" those sexin' scenes that readers love so much? Go to youporn.com. Are you a reader wondering where we get our inspiration? Go to www.youporn.com.

Heck, addicted to porn and want a fix? Go to www.youporn.com.

Gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual, orgies and masturbation abound. Wanna watch a woman with a dildo? Youporn.com has it all and better yet, it's free!

Go there. You can sort videos by Views, Rating, Duration, Submission Time and Title. Add in the search feature and you've got over 700 pages of free porn at your finger tips.

You and your pink bits can thank me later.

Celia Kyle