by Celia Kyle Celia Does Jade Buchanan Celia Kyle here, reporting for WFUCK news. The first story of the day is… Jade Buchanan and her recent acquisition from Eros Boutique. I like to start out all my interviews just as I would start any date, with a little background information, before getting to the point. Ce: So, Jade tell us a little about yourself, who you are, what you do, who you screw… you know, that sort of thing. Jade: Hi Ce!! Nice to be here at WFUCK!! Well, I'm a very shy and quiet person… why are you laughing? LOL! In my Clark Kent persona, I'm a Safety Management Consultant who gets to sit at a computer and tell people what to do. When I go home at night I turn into Kinky Kent where I sit at a computer and tell make-believe people what to do. *grin*

I write mostly paranormal erotic romances, with 16 novellas that have my name on them, including my Felidae series about sexy, furry catmen and the men and women who fall for them, my bloodletting vampire BDSM contribution to the All Wrapped Up series, my froggy shapeshifter story in the Escape! Anthology and my shy faun meets the big, bad werewolf contribution to the Rookery Cove series. Earlier this year, I also came out with a horse shapeshifter gay ménage story, featuring twin brothers and a man who falls for them both.

Ce: Um, right-o. Now, we're nearly to the good stuff, but first… tell me a bit more about Horsfall. I admit, I fell in love with the twins and I'm praying you've got some more hunky man lovin' from that town for us in the near future. Please, make my wildest dreams come true.

Jade: Oooh, Horsfall!! Horsfall just came about by accident! I love shapeshifters, no matter what breed they are but I've always been partial to big, bad burly types… duh, like who isn't? LOL! I'm so glad you fell in love with the twins, and I admit I did too!! Would you believe Marshall had to convince me he was supposed to be with Oliver! I wasn't going to put them together but the first time they met and I saw the sparks, I said "OH!! Me like!" I maaay have drooled, but I refuse to confirm that.

Hmmm… should I tease you?? Let's just say there maaay be a story or two down the road…

Of course, I've been told if I don't write Khalid and Pran's story first I may have readers come and try to stake out my house so that tale (tail? LOL) kind of takes precedence! Marshall and Bayard have a bit more patience than Pran, it seems.

Ce: Okay, I'm ready for the good stuff now. Enough small talk, let's get to rounding the bases. We all know you frequent the naughty stores, and this shopping expedition has been no different. Why don't you tell readers a bit about your most recent purchase from Eros Boutique.

Jade: Woohoo, the good stuff! Meet the Lina Vibrating Pen with Sleeve from the Berman Center! When I first saw Lina, I admit my jaw just dropped. Five minutes later, my screen was clean of the Coke I'd spewed across it, and I was putting my CC info into the website to get my baby delivered to me. Lina -- not to be confused with Lena… as in Lena Austin who has been known to both vibrate and write -- is a combination pen and vibrator that comes with a high grade silicone tickler sleeve.

In the interest of giving you all a deal, I'll let you know that there is a ton of other websites out there where you can buy Lina, ranging in price from about 15 to 40 dollars.

Ce: What attracted you to the Berman and Berman vibrating pen? The thought that two men combined their minds to devise an exquisite devise for women? Or just that "Ooh! It's a pen! Kinky!"?

Jade: At first it was definitely the "ooh, it's a pen!" vibe to it (uh, no pun intended there). Then, I started to see the practical aspects of the Berman Lina Vibrating Pen. I'm always on the lookout for DISCREET vibrators that I can take on the road with me when I travel out of town. It's not like I can't drag along my toy box when I stay overnight somewhere, but it's nice to be able to slip something small and not quite-so-obvious into my purse or suitcase.

Ce: Huh. Now, let's get to the pen itself. The site declares that this is the vibrator for the woman who likes haute couture and is a trend setter. After purchasing and using the pen, can you imagine a woman in a $2,000.00 dress using this pen in the bedroom and boardroom? She'd sign a final contract with a flourish before slipping it between her thighs… imagining the Vice President of Operations between her legs…

*ahem* As I was saying. After receiving the pen, what were your initial thoughts on general construction? Does it look and feel like it'll go ten rounds or is this a two pump chump of vibrators. Before plunking down $39, readers definitely want to know.

Jade: Oooh, I could definitely get into that fantasy! My first impression was that it really isn't that high-end. It's a bit big to really pass off as a pen you'd use in a business meeting, although I'd get a kick out of taking it out at the grocery store to sign my receipts. I've been in way too many business meetings where I've seen people borrow someone else's pen to sign something or jot down a few notes. The fact that "on", "off" and "open" are written on the side in pink script would make some people curious about what would happen if they turned it to the "on" position. Plus, there's a little pink gem at the tip of the pen and I initially wondered if it would light up. I think it's just there to look pretty, but boy, if it made me wonder, I could see someone picking this up by accident and trying to turn it on. Eyebrows would raise, let me tell you! Although, in my fantasies, it's not just eyebrows that end up rising!

As to the construction itself, it feels more like a mid-level product. It isn't shoddy, but it definitely isn't a Lexus by any stretch. Maybe if the pen was made of metal, or was a bit sleeker, I could see using this for work. Of course, for me, it's perfect just to use at home or to bring on the road and use when I get back to the hotel and need to write down a few things. And really, it's not like I bought it to use mainly as a pen… come on!

It is definitely MUCH louder than I would have liked, but I can't really complain about that too much. Don't buy it if you need complete silence or plan to use it in your office without having a coworker ask if you've brought your electric razor to work with you!

I wish I could tell you how long the battery life is but I haven't had to replace mine yet. I haven't been using Lina every night or anything but I imagine that if you intend this to be a supplement to your current toy stock, only to be brought out for special occasions or the odd "inspirational" moment at work, you should be fine. Lina comes with eight watch batteries, but you need four of them to use at a time. I normally hate buying toys that use watch batteries, since AA are so much easier to replace, but I liked that the Berman Center took the time to give you an extra set for those emergency moments when your batteries have just died.

As a final note on construction, since there's only one speed on this, you're either going to love it or hate it. If you like nice gentle, smooth buzzing, you may want to only use Lina with the tickler sleeve and avoid direct contact with your clit. If you like your vibrators to be more like a jackhammer, Lina may not be enough for you. I'd say Lina's about midline among my toys regarding the strength of vibrations. Only time will tell how long that strength lasts, since I've had vibrators dud out on me after using a few times, so I'll have to wait and see how long it lasts.

Ce: Okay, so now we know about craftsmanship (not just for power tools anymore), but what about performance? I see a pen sized vibe and I'm not thinking the power is going to be all that strong. Obviously, it'll never be a Hitachi Magic Wand, but can it (and did it) get the job done? If it did manage to get the motors running, let's hear about your first use of the toy. (Remember, you're an author, so no skimping on the details.)

Jade: Yes, Lina got the job done.

Oh, wait, you wanted more? LOL! Okay, okay, let's see. I had a thought when I first held it… did I just waste my money on something that's going to wimp out and submit instead of the other way round? Luckily, when I first turned it on, I was surprised at the intensity of the vibrations. Lina definitely isn't a Magic Wand, but it does get the job done. I was satisfied with that, although I would have preferred a little more power to it. What can I say? I like my toys like my men… strong, powerful, dominating and unrelenting in their intensity. That being said, there's also something about a toy (or a man) that likes to be manipulated. The small size of Lina was just perfect to get exactly where you want it the most. And because the vibration is concentrated at the tip, where it does its best work, it's really easy to hold onto. I hate some of those larger toys that never quite hit the spot no matter how you move and shimmy around. Lina hit the spot on the first try!

If you're a size queen, you won't like the penetration aspect of Lina. It's not all that thick by itself (around the size of a chapstick or a small thumb) and only marginally thicker with the tickler on. Again, it was fine with me, since I actually preferred using Lina for clitoral stimulation. It's the perfect size to hold against your clit and just let it do its magic. More intense without the tickler, obviously, but I also liked the barrier of the tickler sleeve for a more gradual rise to climax.

Lina definitely had me rolling my eyes back and curling my toes on the first try, so that elevated it above the duds I've bought in the past and gained a keeper spot in my toy collection.

Ce: Mmm… Thank you, dear Jade, for answering all of my questions and being a wonderful sport about it all. But, before you run off, I've got one other question…

Is this your new favorite pen for book signings?

Jade: Oh, heck yes! LOL! I can just imagine bringing this out and seeing how people react to it. Although I'm shy, so I actually bought two… one for personal use only, and one that I can bring with me for book signings and such. I don't let just anyone lay hands on my toy stock, you know!

Ce: Again, my thanks go out to Jade Buchanan. This is Celia Kyle of WFUCK, until the next orgasm.

Jade: Thanks, Ce!! You're the best! *smooches*

Celia Kyle