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Amazon Unlimited Edition: How Not to Date an Alien (How Not To 1) $3.99 -- $0.00 with Kindle Unlimited!
Nothing about dating is easy -- especially when humans, shifters, vampires, Fae and aliens are involved. When did life get so complicated?
How Not to Date an Alien: There's a naked man in Kilana's bed and he's glowing... When he tells her he's hunting humans and his intention is to devour her, she knows she's on her own with the drooling, leering, orgasm-delivering fiend. Maybe dating an alien won't turn out to be as big a problem as she thinks.
How Not to Date a Fae: Deception and betrayal have driven Ario from the only home he's ever known, but he's determined to never look back, and never use magic again -- until he meets an irresistible red-headed Fae. If they're to survive, they must forge a bond strong enough to defy the gods. And Ario may discover dating a Fae isn't so bad after all.
How Not To Date a Skunk: Photographer Bilana thinks she can beat the heat and her migraine by taking her meds and getting out of the sun. But she wakes up to find a shape shifting mate invading her peace and quiet. She has to learn to accept change as it comes, but that's what happens when you learn how not to date a skunk.
How Not to Date a Vamp: What do you get when your greatest strength lies in not dying easy? If you are lucky and no one confuses you with a pop culture vampire, and if you diet and exercise to keep your weight down, you just might get the girl. Only if he overcomes these obstacles will Virgil spend the better part of his afterlife with Barb. If he can survive dating.
How Not to Date a Bear: Cosmetologist Gillian Leekey is a woman on a mission. She loves big, muscular, hairy guys, and Declan is a bear of a man. But after one night of passion, the Bear Shifter Mafia is declaring war at her front door! But that's what happens when you decide to date a bear.
Publisher's Note: How Not To Date... Vol. 1 (Box Set) contains the previously published novellas How Not to Date an Alien, How Not to Date a Fae, How Not To Date a Skunk, How Not to Date a Vamp, and How Not to Date a Bear.
Praise for How Not To Date An Alien
Paranormal Erotic Romance Category
"Stephanie Burke takes you on a fascinating ride...After reading this book everyone will be lining up to be hunted by their very own alien."
5 Cherries! -- Buttercup, Whipped Cream Reviews
"I'm glad I had the opportunity to review this unique and well-written book. I thoroughly enjoyed the ride!"
4.5 Hearts! -- Shalanda, The Romance Studio
Praise for How Not to Date a Fae
"Fast paced, sexy, and emotionally intense at times, How Not to Date a Fae is highly entertaining."
-- Lisa, Joyfully Reviewed
"Ms. Burke has a talent for combining the absurd with the commonplace, and writing characters that you just can't help caring about. I cannot wait to find out what 'not to date' next."
-- Buttercup, Whipped Cream Reviews
Praise for How Not to Date a Skunk
"How Not to Date a Skunk is funny, adorable, completely entertaining and a fast read. I enjoyed the dialogue, loved the descriptions and definitely want more."
-- 4 Cherries from Xeranthemum, Whipped Cream Erotic Romance Reviews
Praise for How Not to Date a Vamp
"Ms. Burke delivers a fun filled romp with a great set of main characters, intriguing secondary characters and a fast paced storyline that leaves you breathless. The writing was tight and the sex scenes were smoking hot. You could feel the simmering sexual tension between Virgil and Barb light up the minute they turned up on the pages."
-- Dawn, Love Romances & More
Praise for How Not to Date a Bear
LR Cafe Best of 2012 Runner-Up: Best Paranormal/Fantasy Book
"How Not to Date a Bear has my vote as being one of the best and most fun paranormal romances that has been my pleasure to read in ages. I cannot stress enough to readers just how fun and exciting I found this story to be."
-- 5 Stars from Xeranthemum, Long & Short Reviews
"Vivid details and an engaging style bring this story to life and I enjoyed this fun and sexy read. I'm a huge fan of a story that can make me blush and giggle all at once and this one definitely succeeded. I cannot wait to read this author's next offering."
-- 4 Stars from PaulineMichael, Night Owl Reviews
"I really love this story! I couldn't stop laughing while reading it; Ms. Stephanie Burke did a hell of a good job fusing humor, romance, and a very attractive shape shifter."
-- 5 Stars from Dolce Amore, Booked Up Reviews
"If you are looking for a nice quick read full of passion and laughter, then look no further... I am a fan of Ms. Burke's writing and Gillian and Declan reminded my why that is. This was a well written and wonderfully quick read."
-- 5 Stars from Luna, Redz World Reviews
This e-book file contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language which some may find offensive and which is not appropriate for a young audience. Changeling Press E-Books are for sale to adults, only, as defined by the laws of the country in which you made your purchase. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.
How Not To Date... Vol. 1 (Box Set)
All rights reserved.
Copyright ©2018 Stephanie Burke
Excerpt from How Not to Date an Alien
"You have antennas."
Kilana peered closely at the man who was resting rather comfortably beside her on her bed. Somehow, he made the huge California King feel like a college dorm twin.
"And you do not," he helpfully pointed out, with a black-lipped grin that made his spiky white teeth look all the more deadly.
And, of all things, his long black hair was tied back into a braid that seemed to snake around his firm, pale body. His eyes were a solid black, too, and she was sure if she weren't so hung over, she would probably be screaming bloody murder right about now.
And the man was naked.
There was only one explanation for this phenomenon. She was still drunk.
"I'm going to close my eyes and count to ten," she whispered, her head not willing to take even the shock of her own voice raised to a normal conversational tone. "And when I open them, you are not going to be here. Do you understand?"
He nodded his head sadly, pouting a bit. But she hardened her heart. She didn't have time for imaginary beings in her bed. She was a newly divorced woman, and she had things to do.
Like maybe wake up sober and get her divorce papers framed and gilded.
She peered at him again and had to blink fast and swallow hard. He had the biggest eyes she had ever seen. Those large, liquid eyes were solid black; there was no white at all.
It appeared that all the white seemed to have leaked out into his pale skin. It was kind of a molten silver, rather uncommon but certainly not too abnormal for a figment.
But his head nodding was making her dizzy.
"Don't nod." She swallowed again, holding onto a moan with the persistence of a clinging vine of ivy. "You're making me seasick. God, you'd think that my own figment wouldn't be so monochromatic as to cause seasickness. I thought I had more imagination."
So she closed her eyes, inhaled softly, exhaled long, and started counting.
"One figment two many. Three reasons to never drink again four any reason. Five senses going crazy, and six is the devil's number to remind me to stick to seven, heaven's number, unless it is the number of tequila shots. I should not have eight the worm thing last night and nine martinis are more than enough, especially at ten dollars a glass."
She opened her eyes, but the very pale and very monochromatic creature was still lying next to her in bed.
"You're still here," she moaned, dropping her head back onto the pillows.
"Yes, I am," he replied, before reaching out with one finger -- one finger with the longest black fingernail she had ever seen. "And I will be here for a while."
He tapped her on the nose, and she knew her eyes were crossing as she stared at his finger, but that was one awesomely sharp-looking talon.
"Doing what?" she asked, wondering if it was insanity to talk to an obviously drug-induced creature from her boring imagination.
Maybe someone had slipped her Special K. Ketamine was said to produce very believable hallucinations in users. Maybe someone had slipped her some and had their wicked way with her prone, helpless body.
Then again, maybe not.
She thought about it for a second, and none of her girl parts seemed particularly sore. Her va-jay-jay felt normal and unused as usual. No odd taste in her mouth, other than stale beer and regret --
"I am hunting."
"Yeah." She scrunched her nose and thought for a moment. "That makes sense. Hunting, in my bed, while totally naked. Yes, that makes perfect sense."
He remained silent and smiling, showing off that mouth filled with fangs.
"Okay, no, it doesn't." She winced at the lancing pain in her head. "What exactly are you supposed to be hunting in my bed at --" She glanced out the window, noting it was still night. "--o-dark-thirty? Tell me that, Mr. Monochromatic Figment of My Imagination."
"I am not a figment." He stopped smiling. "And my coloring is very nice for my people. It is considered very attractive."
"I've hurt my figment's feelings." She groaned, rolled over and closed her eyes again in an attempt to make him go away. But when she opened her eyes, he was still there and waiting to speak.
"I don't have feelings in the way that you mean." He pouted prettily.
"Of course not," she allowed, wondering when she had actually slipped around the bend into insanity.
"And I am not a figment. I am a Scrimtat from Veta Belga."
"Scrimtat, sure," she spoke around a yawn. "I can tell by your very black lips and your very black hair."
"My tongue is black, too. See?" And he stuck out the longest black, forked tongue this side of a freak show.
"I can see why I dreamed you up." Her voice went thready. "Each fork in your tongue operates individually?"
She had to know. There were so many things she could imagine him doing with that, the clitoral pinch being just one of them.